Tipping Points

It was the day of hearts. That morning, I decided to take a walk in the park. And when I got bored, decided to proceed to a nearby coffee shop to kill more time. I took a seat nearby the window, so I have something else to stare into, other than the people around me. And that’s when I noticed a group of elderly men, probably in their 70’s. They were too old to even pick-up their orders, someone else have to get it for them. But they we’re such jolly fellows. They were indeed a welcome sight. It’s hard not to listen to their stories, on the quiet corner where I was. Who could have thought, their topic would be soul mates, and their search for it, at the withered age of 75.

Until that morning, the subject had never crossed my mind. Maybe I got to busy with real life. Anything about my soul can wait. Gone were the days when I can spend endless hours talking passionately about the subject, or deliberately willing to dream about it. You know those sorts of dreams that were already abruptly interrupted, yet you push to continue or end them in the direction you wanted them to, no matter how fake or manufactured it feels like after? I’m sure you’re as guilty as I am.

There’s something about the idea that I find so sweet and so unattainable. Someone who actually complements your soul? I’m trying to recall how I used to define it exactly, but I think I’ve always thought of it as that fantasy figure of a perfect mate, the one who sorts of sweep you off your feet, every single day of your life. Just like in the movies, or the books or the immortal love stories we grew up reading, watching or hearing. And secretly yearn for, because deep inside we all wanted to be the leading ladies or men of our own plays.

So when exactly will a soul mate show his or her face? When is that perfect time?If my soul mate can hear this or read this anyway, here’s exactly what I would like to say…..

You would have probably met me in the most unexpected places or a common one. Maybe it’s the first time we will see each other or maybe we’ve been friends for a long time. We will probably start on a shallow note, just like any other romance. But as we get to know each other, both for who we are and we’re not, you will realize that I’m probably worth your time and who knows, your life. I have a sharp sense of humor, I can make you laugh.

I am already at that place in my life, where everything else, that can muddle my focus on us, is already taken care of. I am now at a very secure place, where almost everything I could dream of, are already in the palm of my hands. It was indeed a great way to spend my time, while I was waiting for you. Because now, all I ever wanted is get to know you, or make you laugh, be your lucky charm, or your lone cheering squad. I don’t need to balance anymore your life with mine, I will probably just be there for you waiting on the sideline. But pretty much, I’ll be there just to make you smile.

We could explore the world together, or dream of making the world a better place. I hope you love coffee, I can’t live without one. I love pulling surprises, but I hate the mushy and predictable kind. I love to pull something sincere, something that only a genuine heart finds. I can pretend to be lost for words, or stupid, I will give you the time to shine. I will definitely fight with you or get you feeling down a couple of times, just to keep this thing as exciting as it can. But we won’t push to a breaking point nor prolong it to a point where our soul’s desire can be confused on a fit of anger or senseless fights.

I am a bit of skeptic now, so bear with me if I take everything on stride. I will probably doubt about us, a couple of times. You have disguised yourself too well before, I was taken for a ride. I don’t know if you’ll ever find me in time, but I wanted you to know that there’s no rush of any kind. I don’t know how your soul will fit in mine, but we got time.

Finding you seems like taking a lifetime……I hope you’re worth the wait.

I find it fascinating how a simple status message could express so much about the state of your life. Admit it or not, aren’t we all guilty of preying into our friends’ accounts once inawhile, when we find an update on their status message?Try to change it from SINGLE to MARRIED, and watch in amazement as your views multiply by the hundreds or your testimonial section suddenly go abuzz with well wishers and what not.

Even more exciting is when status messages shift from SINGLE or MARRIED to “IT’S COMPLICATED”. Aren’t we all guilty of concocting all sorts of reasons as to what gives on our beloved friend’s love or married life? (“They must be on cool-off stage, Baka she/he caught him/her cheating, They outgrew one another, Love sucks, Nothing lasts…..”) The list could go on and on. Indeed nothing beats those type of status changes in spiking interest to your almost dormant site. Hmmm….. other than posting your latest pictures in a bathing suit! (Woot, Woot!)

For some who are suffering in silence or yearning to connect to people, those one-liners could mean so much more. When your life hits a plateau, (no major highs or lows), when you suddenly realize that your life is not that significant after all, or when you’re in that process of weeding out dreams you may no longer fulfill, we sort of feel the need to be reassured that some people whom we have cross path before in our lives, would somehow be genuinely interested on us. That simple changes or complication in our lives would be enough for them to spend seconds or minutes of their browsing times to really think of us. That our lives really matter to them.

A good friend has recently changed her status message from Single to Married. And when I visited her site, in a surreal way, I sort of started imagining her face, giggling and all that, elated that somehow her quest for the “ONE” has finally ended. Funny, but have you ever visited a friend’s site, who recently just got married, and somehow unconsciously feel genuinely happy, gushing and hopeful for them? It’s like suddenly having this vision of fireworks, butterflies and rainbows, when in fact your friend’s layout design has a funny anime character on it and Linkin Park’s music is playing on the background. I wish that married status message would be open-ended or open for comment so you can add statements like MARRIED…. Na naman? MARRIED….What the F@#!!! MARRIED… Good Luck Tayo Dyan! And so on…..

I always try to visit my friend’s site whenever their status changes, good or bad. I tried to imagine their faces as theyclick on the “It’s Complicated” button, and feel for them. Not all of us are gifted with words, but all of us would have yearned to say so much more. Love is never simple, and neither can it be encapsulated in a simple “It’s Complicated” line.I mean try to spend time with a heart-broken friend, and see for yourself why “It’s Complicated” can be explained in an endless curse peppered hours — intoxicated or not. I wish Friendster can make this status message “open-ended” too, so everyone can type away and let the world knows how they really feel. I wish they can have matching emoticons as well with different sobbing sounds.(When that day comes, when Friendster heed this call, I promise not to lay my finger on any social networking site again! Ever!)

In this lonely, busy world, sometimes, a small button a one-liner status or photo upload could mean so much more. Our PC’s screen had become our window to our loved ones’ lives. The mouse is indeed our hands reaching out to others. Sometimes we are just a click away from making someone else’s day, or helping others look forward to another day in their lives.

Sometimes, our picture appearing on the “Who View You Page” says all that.

I honestly believe that.I really do.

If a can describe love in one phrase, this probably does it best. For me to still describe love this way, at my age, is no mean feat. When reasons abound to be downright skeptic.

It’s like seeing a half-filled glass, you either see it as half-full or half-empty. At first glance, you would love the phrase’ sense of romance — of a breath taking grandeur, no words will be enough to capture its beauty or even more describe it. You just sort of feel it. It will likely manifest in a smile or probably on a twinkle in the corner of your eye. Its those sort of twinkle that can light up the world. Or someone else’s world that is. Everyone around you can see it, probably tease you about it. But they wouldn’t know exactly how to describe it.

I say, a meteor trap in a shower of shooting stars is more like it………

I’ve had more sightings in previous years, but not so much nowadays. Had I really lost it? Had my share of sob stories from others, closed my third eye for romance? Had I become more of a realist? A skeptic?

Or had I just outgrew it?

This is the part where my half-filled glass sort of gets half-empty. I guess, I just stopped looking at the sky. Of lately, all I could manage are some quick empty glances, scared to witness anything extra-ordinary. Sometimes, I just wanted to postpone it. I know it can come anytime, and at the corner of my eye, I sort of catch a glimpse of it, but I feel I’m not ready for it. Honestly, I feel sometimes, I’m not worth it. And I’m scared the beauty will be lost or wasted on me, if ever I get to see it.

Sometimes, It feels that I magically or wonderfully put the description so, to unconsciously express my disbelief that love or romance even exists at all. That it’s just a fleeting moment, a breath-taking sight that no matter how magical or wonderful it is, it only flashes and vanishes in the sky.

But, deep down, I believe in eternal love. I  believe in sustainable romance. I believe that people can indeed fall in love with the same person everyday and not be conscious about it. I believe that quality time may not necessarily be a time set aside with a loved one, but seconds of thoughts spent everyday, thinking of what can make him/her smile.I believe that living life to the fullest could be as simple as complementing or completing someone else’s life — of being half of someone else’s puzzle.

In the end, I believed that a meteor trap in a shower of shooting stars can be a daily occurrence, if I will it.  I can freeze that picture in my mind. I can set it aside and visit it once in awhile, and relived that indescribable feeling if and when can.

At least then, I know my life has somehow mattered in someone else’ eyes. 

You are my red light. Hmmm….. doesn’t sound a bit romantic, as in romantic like “You Complete Me” from Jerry Maguire romantic. But it’s the most romantic line to me. Allow me to give you perspective, all romantic lines gotta have one.

They say for every person is one great love. You must be the luckiest person on earth to end up with your greatest love. But anyone who’s married or been married will tell you, the concept of great love is nothing but just that. A concept. Because when put to the test of time, of everyday nuisances, of seeing your partner at their best and worst, of waking up beside him every morning, the notion of that perfect love in your much fantasized happy ending, just gets real. Or plainly humanized.

That one great love is not the one who got away. He/She is not the one who hurt you the most, love you the most, or whatever MOST you could think of. My greatest love would be the one who could remind me of love at its perfection. That’s why ending up with that person will never be part of the equation.

My greatest love will remind me of what romance is all about, that fleeting feeling that makes you smile even at the smallest of things or gestures, that person’s voice that can soothe all your fears and troubles away. All those moments shared with him/her that fills your heart with joy, and make your lives richer. All those memories that will probably be part of the snippets of thoughts trickling down your brain on your last minutes of breath. As the poet who wrote, “It’s better to have love and lost than not to have love at all” perfectly puts it.

In my case, my greatest love lit up all red lights into green. I don’t know how or when it all started, but Id come to associate traffic lights as the time to just stare into nothing and get trap with thoughts of the one I love. They say you’ll find love at the most unexpected places, I’ve found my zone at the least enjoyable places, right before a traffic stop light.

In the same way that a busy street distracts you from having deeper thoughts, other than where are you going or where are your turning, your real love, (the one with whom you settled down with), shows you how to live love on a day to day basis, good and bad. The traffic light forces you to put on the breaks, pause and just stare on to one thing, the love that resembles the perfection that made you fall or believe in love in the first place.

While the stillness of these stops, sometimes drive me into thoughts of chasing this ideal love and turn it into a real one, there’s a soft voice inside my heart that tells me to leave those thoughts behind with the traffic stop lights. Because only then, while there lost in my pain, or left drowning in my thoughts of what could have or should have beens, it is in drowning, that I felt truly saved…….

There’s something weird about me. Call it being obsessive compulsive, if you may, but I always end up obsessing on what usually starts as a shallow or fun dare I make to myself, or a stupid bet that I came up with, most of the time, just to kill boredom.  I am the same person, who bet on having my name spelled right on Starbucks cups for 6 years, remember? Now top that!

My place, happens to be one of those places inhabited by a lot of celebrities. Nothing really special about the place though. Truth be told, the place was made such, simply because of one popular GMA handler who moonlighted as a real estate agent, and was so good at that, he was able to sway a lot of GMA talents to bunk up in the area. (Damn it, how come no one from ABS-CBN thought of the same raket!)

This really doesn’t bother me at all. In fact I wouldn’t have noticed until Miko Sotto decided to take a yosi break at the 9^th Floor, and… the rest, oh well, you know how the story tragically ended.  Anyways, that was a mind opener, of how detached I am from my so called famous neighbors. Imagine, me walking at the same area where he landed, and I went…..”Hmmm, bakit may kandila dito? Sinong may birthday….

So one boring afternoon, I had my OC attack again, and I thought of a fabulous idea to obsess on bumping into any of my famous neighbors. I  mean, I’ve been in this place for five years now, and I haven’t even caught a glimpse of Marian Rivera,  Dennis Trillo, etc. Hmm…. I have no plans of seeing Miko though.  Yay! (God bless his soul!)

Honestly, I thought the bet is waaaaaay too easy. I thought, maybe I was just not exerting too much effort to go outside and mingle with my future celeb friends. I mean, on our driver’s first day, as in first day, he got in the same elevator as Marian! I thought, hey I can do that……

Oh well, to cut the story short, It’s been a year already since I waged this bet, and still no close encounter with the celeb kind. For whatever reasons, it seems that nature always manage to poke fun at me and my stupid bet, because everytime I have a chance of getting nearby these celebs or meeting them, something always happen and I ended up not seeing them.

Like that time when our driver told me that Marian Rivera is on the parking lot and when our car passed by them, I was the only stupid person inside the car who looked at her alalay instead. Or when my friend told me, she saw Marian at the pool and I rushed out looking for her, only to find out she went back, after seeing there are so many kids playing on the pool. Or when one time, a guard told me that  Dennis Trillo is walking his dog, and I went on a mad dash to get my props, este my dog, and trek the entire condo area and not catch a glimpse of him, not even his dog….. I mean, the list could go on and on, but the bottom line is, I never get to cross path with any celeb, ever.

Anyways, lately my day is spent, thinking of all crazy ideas and ploys to nail this stupid bet to rest. Like, pretending to sell eggs or water to their unit, or pretending to be the guard or admin, to check if their gasul has leak, hehe. I’m also tinkering with the idea of joining the condo’s trick or treat so I can knock on their door and voila, dead bet. Or I could slip a flyer on their door, pretending to be a famous fiesta organizer. (Yohooo, Out of town rackets, anyone?) I can also volunteer as the condo’s elevator woman.

Oh well, my friends think I’m crazy.

Honestly, I think expecting any OC, (obsessive compulsion) to make sense is crazier. J It’s no different from what my client request from me before, to make our MIME exceptional by making them TALK.  (Naman………..)

The bet is still ON, as I write……

For the meantime, I’m getting myself busy looking for my trick or treat outfit. I’m looking into a Dyesebel costume, for relevance.  Now, If I can just figure out, how I can crawl my way to the 9^th Floor…. Hmmm….

Wala pa noong internet.

Wala pang cable.

Wala pang cellphone.

Wala pang McDo o Jollibee.

Elang’s lang.

Wala pa noong CDs.

Wala pa noong IPOD or MP3.

Ang rap, sobrang old school.

Vanilla Ice & Francis M, ultra cool.

One-hit wonder si MC Hammer.

Si Ariel Rivera, kilabot ng mga jologs.

Major statement, ang gitara.

Guns N’ Roses wannabes, sangkaterba.

Wala pa noong Google.

Uso pa ang library.

Wala pa noong C2. Wala pa noong Diet Coke or Pepsi.

Keber lang sa smell ng Humpy Dumpy.

Baduy ang fitting.

In ka pag naka-padding.

Sosyal ang mga girl scouts. Maiitim ang mga CATs.

Hindi pa banned ang GLTC.

Walang masyado gimik.

Puro simple lang ang trip.

Highlight na  lahat ng field trips na ang stop-over eh sa SM West.

Wala pa noong Trinoma.

Ang tour bus, nakakapag-park pa sa may damuhan.

Wala pang cemented parking.

Wala pang kotse. Puro jeep o triks.

Naglalakad pabalik ng Crossing sa kanto ng Sta Isabel.

Samantalang sa Holy, sandamakmak ang school bus.

Si Maline, parang tingting.

Si Miracle, fascinating.

Si Julio, tumitikim pa lang

Si Jolette, kahit gago, malalim.

Si Onel, dedoks kay Amjelee.

Si Nelson, patingin tingin lang kay Didith.

Di pa jetsetter si Chiqui.

Si Jeng, Scout Leader (Hahaha)

Buhay pa si Eric at Gilbert.

Wala pa akong blogs J

When we classify music by genra, we create divisions. When we create divisions, we create conflict. Wars are born out of conflict. Why can’t we just dance to any music of our liking? Why does it have to be pop?

When most great company’s stories talk of the founder’s drive for success or money, mine was driven by my need to get out of the box.

Back in 2002, fresh from my MBA, I went back into the workplace full of hope and excitement over building a corporate career. I felt unstoppable back then. I got an offer to work as a Business Development Manager for a leading telecom company. I was offered a salary worth the envy of people my age. I have a nice office. A flashy business card. The works.

They said I entered a boys club. I don’t know exactly what that means coming in. I’m pretty naïve about a lot of things. I always believe that hard work pays. I believe that the best people get promoted. That if I treat people with courtesy and respect, it will all go back to me in folds.

Not in a boys club.

The boys club treats the pretty employees to night outs at company’s expense. They play favorites and are not shameful about it. They publicly flirt with the female employees and force them to dinners or lunch at the guise of business meetings. They make sure everyone understands their power and bask on their false glories. They lord over meetings. They were untouchables in their fake domains.

The boys club never mattered to me. I respect its entire imperfection.

But for whatever reason, I mattered to them. I was the butt of their jokes, I call it chauvinism at its finest. My introductory class to Bigotry 101.

I walked into a room and they look at me with sneer. They started talking about the way I dress or the way I walked. They joked about my being “different”. They said I make them feel uncomfortable. I was an eye sore.

The entire ordeal reached its climatic end one SportsFest event. I was there, by my lone self, watching friends playing an innocent game of pool. While watching the game, I accidentally gaze at the boys’ club, hobbling in one area, looking at my direction, sneering and whispering jokes that only they find funny. They are top management. They are my bosses. But they were insensitive pigs.

And I’ve had enough. I gazed back at them with the look of disrespect. Without any words, I express my disgust and hate. Judging by their looks, they got the message. I was fighting back. It had caused me my job the next day.

They say, I was just getting too sensitive. I disagreed.  There’s just no gray area when being discriminated at. It’s just plain black & white. The experience made me stronger. For once in my life, I am driven. No longer to succeed or climb someone else’s ladder. But build something on my own. A ladder that’s founded on respect for people’s individuality, where boys club never exist.

I felt for everyone who had experienced any form of bigotry, because of the color of their skin, sex orientation, the way they dress, economic status or past. The entire ordeal has taught me that no one has the right to make me uncomfortable in my own skin. Even if it cost me all the best jobs in the world. I was just lucky. I can afford to fight back. Not everyone does.

The lyrics to Pink’s song put it best:

If God is a DJ

Life is a dance floor

Love is the rhythm

You are the music

We dance to a different beat. Ain’t  any shame in it.  Let God, our DJ be the judge.

And for those who think otherwise, I say…….

POP YOU ALL!

Why does everyone leaves? Or dying to leave the country behind if they only have a chance? Sometimes it feels the Philippines is a curse, a God forsaken place for thieves, losers or desperates. While people I know of, are kind enough not to say it on my face, their actions seems to express otherwise.

Anything but the Philippines. Any place else but this place we once call our home…..

My blog does not aspire to defend or condemn those who left us behind. We all have our own stories to tell. We have our own reasons to justify the decisions that we make in our own lives. As the saying goes, we are all the master of our ship. Anything less, is hardly a  life at all.

I have a 10 year multiple entry visa dating back as far as 2002.  I’m sure a lot would have frown, as possessing one is like a passport to a better life or an escape for some. So staying here despite that seems all too crazy or being downright coward on my part.

Here’s my reason for staying.

I STAYED BECAUSE I’M SCARED.  I’m not scared of failing though. You can throw me in Jamaica , and I’ll probably end up being the best coconut vendor there is or something Without bragging, I can probably make it anywhere. Not because I’m too good.  But because I’m not set out to run after someone else’s canned definition of success. I’m just here to fulfill what I feel could be my purpose in life. And consequently lead a peaceful and happy life. 100% contentment…..That had always been my personal goal.

So what’s so scary about going outside? I’m scared that going outside will change all that. That other countries’ materialistic culture, love for consumerism or retail, their competitiveness and emphasis on being No. 1 at all times, will rubbed on me and make me live to work instead of pursue a meaningful life.

I’m scared of waking up one day, and define my life in terms of what I’ve accomplished in my career, what I bought, or the value of my bank account. I would have loved to enter the rat race, and feel the surge of competition and power that makes it fun. But then again, no matter how fun it is, the rat race was called as such, because it’s meant for rats. 

I wouldn’t want to lead a life in pursuit of the most comfortable and secured life there is. I strongly believe that a meaningful life has got to be more than that. However, when trap in the company of people running, it takes a lot to stop and keep your perspective of what matters in life. It takes people made up of heavier stuff to resist all that. I’m not sure if I have those stuffs already, this early in life.

I STAYED BECAUSE I WANTED TO FEEL.   I wanted to cry. I wanted to feel bad and angry over an injustice commited to others.  I wanted to be sad. I wanted to dream for others even when others had stop dreaming for their own selves. I wanted to feel this continuum of feelings, from the opposite sides of the spectrum. Good or bad. I want all of them.

I know a lot of people leave, because the country serves you mostly an endless plate of ill and negative feelings, enough to kill your zeal for life. But these feelings, no matter how bad they can get sometimes are the stuff that makes you stronger. On the other hand, a sheltered life filled with pleasure and abundance makes you feel NUMB. I don’t want to wake up one day, having a TV remote on one hand, and skipping all channels when the news had become to bad or sad to bear, in our country or some place else. I don’t want to end up believing that feelings for others is a sign of weakness or nothing but STRESS. I wanted to linger, and cry and feel for others. Athough my crying may not change things for the better for these people, I wanted to feel comfortable dwelling in those feelings, and not feel ashamed of it. Because that’s what it takes to make me a better human.

I STAYED BECAUSE I WANTED STAY PASSIONATE WITH MY WORK. I miss those days when you talk to kids of all ages, and they give you a variety of choices as to their personal ambition, from being a teacher, doctor, engineer, lawyer or policeman. Now, all I hear are a bunch of wannabe nurses, caregivers, programmers. They say it’s a reflection of the times. Unless we came from the land of Dracula, and we Filipinos are naturally suckers for blood and the sight of hospitals, I guess not everyone was born destined to be a nurse. But nowadays, it seems, almost everyone is.

Carl Jung said it best. That society makes the most out of each one of us at the expense of limiting our personalities and capacities as human. Really makes sense. By allowing us to focus on just one thing, and not do everything in our power to explore all the best that we can be in our lifetime, we’ve become experts. We’ve built the best roads. We’ve created the best medicines and so on. The country, the government and our people perpetuate now a culture of “canned” careers, because it serves their interest to earn more OFW remittances to keep the economy afloat. 

It serves country outside too, to keep us on a “can”. To keep us doing the jobs they hate. We go there, with the drive to change our destiny, to follow our passion right after we got settled there. “We’ve got our own game plan, it’s just a matter of time”, as most will say to themselves.  While others are lucky, majority realized that these countries are not stupid either. They’ve made sure to create a system that breaks our spirit or make it extra hard for us to get out of the mold that they designed for us when they lure us into their country in the first place.

The downside in all this, is that it kills our PASSION. Passion nowadays has become a hobby, something that we pursue outside of our boring work lives, so most of us can remain sane. However, it’s hard to be passionate over something that’s not TRUE to us though, including our career choices. Thus, a lot of us feel that our lives at work are empty.

I STAYED BECAUSE I WANTED TO SERVE MY PURPOSE NOW AND REAP ITS FRUIT IN THE FUTURE. I don’t want to fast forward through the present, in my effort to build a life for myself and my family in the unforeseeable future. I don’t want to hit my 50’s and look back at my life and realize that I haven’t lived a life at all. I don’t want to touch my family, relatives or friends lives’ in the form of money, lavish houses or gadgets that I showered them with. I want them to get know me as a parent, a child, brother or sister, or even a friend in the flesh. I want to spend a dinner or coffee with them so we can catch up on one another, witness their important events or chat with them. I wanted to build a relationship with them NOW, not in the future.

I STAYED BECAUSE I WANTED TO KNOW WHEN AND HOW TO STOP. What’s wrong with being No. 2? What’s wrong in being poor? If I hit No.1 where will I go?

I know one day, I WILL LEAVE THIS COUNTRY FOR THE RIGHT REASONS. That day will be when I’m sure that I’m made of those heavy stuff already that will help me keep my center in the face of so many temptations outside.  That day will be when I’m going outside not to chase after things that will define me as a person anymore. That day will be when I’m going outside not to seek for greener pasteur, in a materialistic sense, but in a human sense. To grow may capacity even more to love, understand, feel for others.

I love this saying. That if only during Christmas, if only we can tune out the noises, cut our shopping activities, turn off the TV, or stop for a second all the festivities and events that we’ve lined up to celebrate Christmas. Only then, without these noises, that we can actually HEAR THE ANGELS SING.  

Our traditional Christmas of the past, the quiet ones spent with our family and friends, was close to this one. If only we manage to keep them and appreciate its sincerity and not adopt other culture.

With NOTHING or LESS of everything that the world has to offer, our country has helped me keep my center. I pray that you manage to keep yours wherever you are.

5:00AM. Alarm clock sounds off. Curse myself for setting it real early. Turned it off. Proceed with my interrupted sleep.

5:15AM. Woke up. Have to do yoga!

5:20AM. Hmm. Still sleepy, where’s the remote. Aha, “Blind Date” on cable!

6:00AM. Need a dose of reality this early. Let’s tune into Unang Hirit. Tsk, tsk, Arnold Clavio still doesn’t have a neck. (First reality check) 

6:15AM.  Hohum. The motorcycle accident. Again the driver’s drunk. (2^nd Reality check!)

6:20AM.  Shit, forgot my YOGA! Stretch a little here, stretch a little there. Salutation here…. Salutation there…..

7:00AM. Wonder what’s in the fridge… Hmm, frozen hotdog, frozen longga, frozen ham. I wonder if this bounces, if it hits the ground…. Hmm.

Condo phone sounds off. Guard goes “ Nandito na po driver” For the 500th time, I’ll say “ Wow, patuluyin mo!”

7:45AM. Have to walk the dog or else he’ll bark endlessly. (There’s on-going petition to evict noisy dogs from the condo, mine tops the list!)

8:00AM. I’m raving to go!….. back to the sofa. Need power nap.

8:30AM. Off to the office! Oops, check all plugs. Check dog’s food and water. Check cellphone. Get laptop bag!

8:40AM.  Hmmm…. Wonder what’s new with EDSA.

8:50AM.  Billboard…..

9:00AM.  Billboard….

9:10AM.  MMDAs…. Avada Kedavra! (Hmm… This deadly curse only work at Hogwartz)

9:15AM.  Zzzzz……

9:30AM.  Drop off. Raving to go to work!

9:40AM.  Power nap.

10:00AM. Aha, I need inspiration. Wonder what’s happening w/ my Friendster account. Hmmm…. None.

10:05AM. Wonder what’s happening with my Facebook account.

10:10AM. Wonder what’s happening to the world. Let’s check PEP.com.

10:20AM. Let’s energize the employees! Walk around. Walk around. Small talks. Small talks.

10:30AM. Power nap.

11:00AM. OMG, have to work! Write emails. Meetings. Talk over the phone. Check reports. Write proposals.

12:00NN. Aha, lunch power nap!

1:00PM.   Hohum.  I’m hungry. Ok. I wanted fish today…. Hmm…… Mr. Ching.

1:30PM.  After lunch, power nap.

2:00PM. Work.Work.Work. Meetings. Meetings.

5:00PM.  Coffee Break.

6:00PM.  Yehey, dinner!

7:00PM.  Overtime. Internet searching.

8:00PM.  ET phone home….. ET phone home.

8:10PM.  I wonder if the MMDA’s are still there at their post. Wow, they’re still there. Avada Kedavra! (Hmm… Baka I need a wand or something to make this deadly curse work)

8:20PM. Chit chat w. driver. Let’s stop and grab some foodies!

8:40PM.  Arrive at home. Huhuhu, Alfie sucks. Time to clean the mess.

9:00PM. Telenovela Na Naman ! &*@#%?!!

10:00PM. Walk the dog. Hehe, let’s  hunt Marian Rivera at her condo unit. Let’s peak at her window. Wahaha.

11:00PM.  Hohum.

11:30PM.  Wow, SOCO.

12:00PM.  Time to hit the sack.

12:05PM.  Set the clock at 5AM, for yoga session.

5:00AM.   Alarm clock rings. Damn!

I’m a lover of books. My idea of retirement had always been a PowerBooks cashier or a National Bookstore stockman back in the days. Since then I’d become more ambitious, my dream had just received an upgrade. I now wanted to be a National Library librarian. J 

In all my regular trips to the bookstores and libraries, I’d come to notice a lot of smart parenting books that dwells on the positive or the how to’s based on what worked or successful. I’m yet to see anything done in reverse, a smart parenting book on the don’ts written by a parent thrown on solitary confinement at a home for the ages or home care, by their children who seek to see less or nothing of them for the rest of their lives. That would have been an interesting read, don’t you think? J 

Having been raised in a very dysfunctional home, by the most dysfunctional set of parents  and thereby experiencing the most dysfunctional childhood, here are some tips I can write to parents:

(1)   To fathers, never point a gun at your wife in front of your children… NOT IF THEY ARE old enough to have watch TV or movies.  For one, they would have already adopted the logical telenovela move to shield their mom, regardless if they’re mom deserves it or started the whole drama anyways.:-) Second, the gun would have gone off accidentally, especially if it’s already an outdated one and handed over to your father by a WWII veteran (only in the Phils!) Lastly, children believe that once you’ve pointed a gun several feet from your target, you would still hit them bulls eye, like in the movies. Only later in life will it dawn upon them, that you can’t even hit a non-moving can right before your eyes.

(2)   Never fight right in front of your kids or not even when they’re not in sight… NOT if your house is a BUNGALOW.  Fights are like magnets, it attracts everyone’s attention even if you hated ‘em. Children are no exception. Just like in the movies, we wanted a conflict, to make our lives matter or just downright dramatic. We all wanted hang-ups, a sad excuse for failing in the future or lowering expectations upon us. Since marital fights are unavoidable, and children are naturally attracted to them, I suggest any responsible parent should invest on a sound-proof room as a battleground. For children born out of gladiator parents like mine, that would have been a big bummer. L 

(3)   Never used your children as pawn, to get your immature wife/husband back home. Why delegate a thankless job to someone who has nothing to do with it to begin with?  If children ran away from home after being spanked or scolded for something wrong, can we rally a parent to do the same? Parents to some sense are like wrestlers, they fight each other and they band together on royal rumbles. While we children are nothing but PAWNS.

(4)   If you hate MUSH, don’t be a parent. Strive to be SCROOGE, if that’s what you feel in your gut is your life’s purpose. Never settle for normalness and domesticated bliss, when deep down your heart is made of stone. And never use the sordid tale, of your children not being brought to the world had been for your mistake to be a parent. Millions of couples are having sex by the minute. We’ll get by.

(5)   Never talk trash about your husband or wife to your children. Especially, if you have penchant for saying "Para kang tatay/nanay mo. J Hehe.

(6)   To moms, never feed your kids well and slap that favor on their face when you’re mad. Later on, your kids will grow and learn to buy their own groceries and gasul. Its not rocket science to find out that food are usually sold in packs and are cheaper if cooked in bigger quantities!

(7)   If you want to divorce or get separated, do it at the earliest and the fastest time possible. Never use your kids as a sad excuse for staying in a rotten marriage. In truth, we will be laugh upon for a lot more shallow reasons at schools, than being a product of a broken home.  No cool teen is interested on someone else’s mom or dad. When we we’re young, there are more important things to think about, like what to wear, and how to get our’ crush attention, or cross stitching!

(8)   For dads, never cook your kid’s pet dog to satisfy your Ilokano relative’s exotic taste. Even before the practice got banned, something in my gut say’s the practice is so crooked. Not to mention, watching Goofy or Plato on the Disney channel, had taken a more gory turn. Good thing, there’s Garfield!  Hmm, But I only enjoyed it for a time. Now that’s a yuckier story…..

(9)    Never show your kids that your capable of loving others. Do them good by being CONSISTENT. Remember, a lot of kids who went mad and killed their parents felt unloved by their parents for NO REASON.  Give them a reason. Being downright stone hearted is a GOOD REASON enough. Save yourself. Be consistent.

Love is never having to say I’m sorry. Wala lang. Pangit kasi, gutal if not 10. J Hehe.